I am a creature of habit. There was once an entire year where I started off every day with a small nonfat chai tea latte from Starbucks, had avocado maki for lunch, had a low-fat omelet with a slice of bread for an afternoon snack, and ate a bowl of tomato soup for dinner. Every day. For a year.
Of course, I was working that year, and that made all the difference.
For me, and others like me, routine is important. Routine ensures you eat breakfast like you're supposed to and that you hit the gym for an hour after work.
Now that I am without a job I am without a routine. It sounds easy to create a routine, and many people do. People who work from home or at coffee shops and function well on a routine find a way to fit a routine into their non-traditional work lives. They get up at the same time every day, eat the same breakfast, hit the same coffee shop for the same number of hours, maybe hit the gym on the way home. They have the determination and willpower necessary to create their own routine amidst all their freedom.
I, on the other hand, tend to give in to the freedom. Despite what time I set my alarm, I manage to sleep in until 10:00 or later. Sometimes I forget to eat breakfast. I haven't been to the gym in a month.
But what is more frustrating for me about my lack of routine is it breeds laziness and apathy. I don't get out of bed early because I don't feel like it. And I find it increasingly difficult to accomplish the tasks I have set for myself. I find reasons to procrastinate instead of studying for the GRE or writing for one of the many blogs I am involved with.
Sometimes my procrastination is productive - I clean or cook instead of sitting down to "work." Sometimes it is not so productive - I check my email compulsively and dick around on facebook, as discussed in a previous post.
At the end of the day I have more hours available to me to be productive than most working people, and yet I use my time less wisely. To me, it appears that this lack of productivity and drive stems from a lack of routine. In fact, when I was working, I was often most productive in my personal projects when dicking around at work.
The truth is, I need a routine. I need a reason that I have to get out of bed early, instead of having a choice about it. I need to know that every day I get up at 9:00, eat breakfast, practice guitar for 10 minutes, blog, study for the GRE, go to the gym, eat lunch, blog, work on my grad school applications, go for a walk, eat dinner, and then have the evening free. For some reason within this structure I find it easier to thrive and to be the healthy productive person I want to be.
Instead, I got out of bed today at 10:00, have eaten spaghetti for two meals and a snack, am writing this on my couch in my robe, and have not set goals for tasks I plan to accomplish today. The truth is I love being unemployed, but I miss having a routine.
I totally feel you on this! I actually HAVE a job but with all the stress of planning a wedding, preparing for finals and everything that comes with opening my own business over the next few weeks, I've sadly fallen out of my routine as well. I haven't been to the gym or on a run in almost 2 weeks and I'm eating whatever I want instead of sticking to my healthy diet.
I think it's important to get into a routine and stick with it in order to boost your self esteem, keep your blood flowing and your mind and body healthy. Routine keeps me motivated. Sure, it's ok to slip out of it every once in a while but overall, I think it's important to push yourself during times you don't feel like it.
Your not alone. Being laid off two years ago and dealing with the lack of self-esteem, friends and as you wrote; a routine I find I have lost myself. I think in the morning, "What's the point of getting up early? There aren't enough jobs for me to apply for and there's nothing on TV worth watching." If you read between the lines it spells depression. I would venture to say that drugs and alcohol use have probably gone up in the last few years.
In many ways I envy you. You do have a degree, a very well respected degree in an aristocratic career field. I have either an over qualified resume for shitty jobs or not enough specific qualifications to get myself back into the IT industry. I suppose the sting of unemployment is much higher price than I have paid just simply because you believed in the American Dream and it became a nightmare. It is becoming apparently clear that corporate American wants administrative robots. Family life doesn't fit into corporate America's scheme. Funny I write so much better when I'm depressed, but so did Edgar Allen Poe!
I need routine too. I need the stars in the sky, dawn, penumbra. I need to see my cats curled up and smell dinner cooking, I need work too. For me, it's comforting that a bell rings to signal the end of one period and the start of another. My day is likely more structured than most.
With that said, I want to say that we shouldn't put a self worth value on employment, but there it is, enculturated into our very epithelium. Maybe we need all those cycles of time and routine to be insynch with the universe? However, a lazy afternoon of soupmaking, lovemaking, breadmaking... those are always the best days. Yes?
Hi, I was recently made redundant and I'm finding it hard because I loved my job and without it my life has become chaos. I completely agree with the sentiments of your post and I too am feeling the sting of the lack of routine, which employment generally affords.
I find myself generally unable to achieve much of anything day to day and the difficulty in sustaining any kind of productive cycle is unreal. I Need A Routine!
A Good Routine keeps you from getting up at erratic hours, taking naps, staying up all night, procrastinating, letting your standards of living slip (housework, etc), eating unhealthily, snacking, never eating at a proper mealtime; the list can go on.
I was undergoing Cognitive Behavioural therapy from about four months before my redundancy was announced and find it's detrimental to my self-esteem that I achieve, keep active and have a routine so I look after myself and function, the alternative is bleak. No reason to stick to your plans, no reason to get dressed properly, and so on; it's just constant compromise with yourself and trying to put everything off or debate why there's no point in bothering or wasting energy - it's so demoralising.
I hope you find your path in the darkness and can figure out a way to use your bountiful time as an unemployed person wisely and to your own benefit :)
Thanks for your comment Morgan. Yes, I spent much of the past few months on the couch in my robe. Since my new career is writing I didn't have any reason to do anything other than that, at least not while everyone else was at work! I've just started an internship and after one day I already feel the benefit of a structured routine. Until you find your next job I suggest volunteering or interning (which might actually be a great way to get your foot in the door towards your next job!) or something similar which will allow you to feel productive and have a routine even when you're not getting paid for it. Best of luck in your journey!